Jessica Simpson’s nipples weren’t poking out of her shirt

I hate doing back-to-back posts on the same celebrity, but Jessica Simpson’s nipples weren’t poking out of her shirt in the last one. And it’s my professional duty to report these major events as they happen. Anyway, I’m sure Jessica felt bad about the high thread count in her dress before and decided to make up for it. Now that’s a sweet girl. God bless her.

Jessica Alba has one fine, fine ass

Here’s Jessica Alba at the Santa Monica pier yesterday for a photo shoot. There’s a rumor floating around Hollywood that Jessica’s ass is so nice it even makes Chuck Norris cry. For the past year, I’ve been leading a grassroots movement to get it on the California state quarter.